Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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