Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
