i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
