Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
