so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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