this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
