god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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