we're blogging at a bar
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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