There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
