well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
