they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
