Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
