I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
