No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
