how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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