using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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