life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
