she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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