How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
