We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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