About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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