that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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