we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I skipped work to stalk him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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