he puts the penis in happiness.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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