i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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