You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
