Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
