Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
