I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
