I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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