I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
