Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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