SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
