I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
