My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
