In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think I just sharted jello shots
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
