on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
