She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
