I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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