What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
