OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
