Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
