i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
