i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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