Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
