Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
