I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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