so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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