Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
