His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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